FATHER’S DAY 2010

Today is Father’s Day, tomorrow would have been my father’s birthday. We usually celebrated them together, along with a little celebration for the end of school, and always had strawberry shortcake. My father has been gone for 30 years and I miss him (and my mother, who has been gone 13 years) every day. This is the progression of life that we must all face and come to terms with.
Somebody posted on facebook this morning ‘Anyone can be a father, it takes some one special to be a Dad’. Breaking that down, we all know that there’s way too much of the ‘anyone can be a father’ stuff going on, with people bringing into this world a new human being that they cannot – or will not – care for correctly, cannot afford the cost of either financially or emotionally, will not take the time and effort to give them care, love, guidance, values. We need fewer fathers and more dads – dads to praise or to correct as necessary, to teach and to set an example, and to be there with their strength.
Some fathers do get to be dads, some will never make it. That’s a loss to their children, but an even greater one to themselves.
My daughter’s father was an off and on dad, maybe mostly off. He tried, off and on, and cared, in his own way. He’s tried to do some reconnecting over the past couple of years, having moved from Florida back to our area, and has reached out some, and I’m glad. Even with all that’s been missed, there’s a chance to have something in the time they have left to do it. Her stepfather had good intentions, but was distracted and didn’t know what to do with a daughter and stepdaughter. My daughter let him know he was forgiven, with a birthday card that said ‘now that I’m a parent I know where you were coming from all those times’ or words to that effect. She’s also managed to let her own father know the same thing, I think.
I think I know where both the fathers were coming from, to some extent, because, like I said last month, I was never all that great a mother.
So, besides being fathers, they both had some times when they were dads. I’m happy for that, and happy that my girls had those times. And I’m happy for all the children, of all ages, who have a dad, even if it’s just for a little bit. Make the most of it.