Auditions

Audition time for the theatre. Long days into late evenings, watching people ‘give us their best’ and then discussing which ones we want to try to hire. And discussing which were good and bad auditions. Every year we wonder what some of these ‘kids’ are being taught, based on what they choose to try to sell themselves to prospective job givers. I mean, wouldn’t you think they’d do some research, look at web pages, at the shows being presented, shows that have been done, and so on. Yeah, there ya go, thinking again. At the Straw Hat auditions last weekend, a majority of the theatres present do a mix of classic and contemporary shows, heavier on the classic. And yet the people auditioning did a mix of contemporary and classic songs, heavier on the contemporary. Sorry, kids, but hearing you sing something from Avenue Q or Rent doesn’t give much of a clue if you can give what we want to hear in ‘It’s A Grand Night For Singing’ or even ‘Another Opening, Another Show’. Have a mix in your audition book and use what the people want to hear. Put some thought to it.
And the monologues – ah, yes, the monologues. Even 40 years ago, there were ‘F-bombs’ dropped in a few of them, usually by guys who wanted to show how ‘trendy’, how grown-up they were. When we mentioned at conference auditions that they should be told not to do it, we were informed that most producers don’t want to edit the monologues because ‘it gives an idea of their personality, what sort of person they are’. I’m thinking maybe there’s some merit to that. Today, more and more of that happens, girls and guys both, along with monologues about sex, sex regular, gay, mixed, kinky, you name it and there’s a monologue for it and these kids think that it’s ‘in’, it’s perfectly all right to present this as the piece they are trying to get a job with. Once again I say, do your homework. Look at the shows a theatre is doing and figure out how many times you might get to say this on their stage. OK, just for starters, have a monologue, especially if it says in an ad or in what people tell you about the audition that you’ll be asked for one. I love when we ask for one and they say ‘Oh, I didn’t bring one today’. I always want to ask ‘What, you left it in your other brain?’ But once again, have a few to choose from. And choose the right one for the audience you’re selling yourself to. If a theatre is doing light, happy musicals, they don’t want to hear about doom and gloom, death, mutilation and destruction. A cute little Oriental girl came in one of the years we were doing The King and I, and we liked her for Tuptim, the innocent young slave. The cute little girl proceeded to do a monologue that had every form of gross physical revenge the speaker could think of to do to someone she was upset with-she got done and left and we just looked at each other going ‘YUCK;-I said, you know last week I had my hands on a dead person (code ambulance call) and that even grossed me out. Do your homework! And please, for goodness sake, don’t come in to a room where there are three women, each obviously in the generation of your parents or even grandparents, and do a monologue filled with not only F-bombs, but C-bombs and explicit body part references. If you didn’t want the job that much, don’t even come to the callback. Save us all the trouble.
Oh, yeah, auditions are an interesting time. But when someone comes in who’s dressed nicely, sings nicely, and makes us laugh – now there’s what we’re looking for, that’s what we’re talking about.
Off to see what today’s adventures into auditions bring. Wish us luck!